FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Common questions answered
Screen Time
It depends on their age and whether it’s fun or functional screen time
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Spending too much time in front of a screen means losing out on other activities and
experiences which are important to the development of your child. Too much screen time has proven detrimental impacts on young brains, eyes, bodies and mental health.
We like to distinguish between educational (or functional) and entertaining (fun) screen time. Screen time that combines both is first prize – such as MineCraft, brain games, word puzzles etc
Pornography & Violence
Online porn is hard-core and is being classified as the new drug. It is highly addictive and the younger the exposure, the greater the addiction. The aggressive/ submissive and violent theme of online porn significantly affects how young, developing minds view and approach intimate relationships later in life.
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Take a deep breath, read our blog to prep, and then sit down and talk to them. Use parental filters to prevent access to inappropriate adult websites, and to limit social media apps and games, which are often the initial source of exposure.
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Parents can get very defensive around accepting that their child exposed yours to
pornography. Remember that it was going to happen regardless of how it happened. Give yourself space to calm down before talking with the other parent, ideally in-person, and follow our guidelines in our blog.
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Gaming
Settings for games can be changed to protect the identity and location of your kids, to keep them safer.
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App and game developers use similar persuasive technology techniques to those used by the gambling industry, to make games irresistible, compulsive and hard to stop.
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Just like any professional sport, to be an eSport athlete you must show both Discipline and Evidence. Use their passion to drive them to build discipline (sticking to agreements) and competing in appropriate competitions to prove they have what it takes.
Social Media
Teens love social media but they need your guidance and inputs as it can affect their self-worth, confidence and general mental health. Most of the popular social media platforms like Instagram, SnapChat and TikTok, are real-age rated 16+.
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Settings for apps can be changed to protect the identity and location of your kids, to keep them safer.
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App and game developers use similar persuasive technology techniques to those used by the gambling industry, to make apps irresistible, compulsive and hard to stop. If you child’s Social Media use is negatively impacting their studies, sleep or relationships, talk to them about it.
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Filters & Limits
A: Try to wait as long as you can, to let your child use a smartphone. Set it up from the start with parental filters, and apply the “loan rather than own” principle, so that you can manage and control it. A cell phone contract is an excellent way to agree the rules of use and consequences of misuse.
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A: Make a Family Digital Alliance and agree how, when and where screens are used. Use screen time apps and/or WiFi routers to help guide and develop your family’s good digital habits.
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A: ScreenTime (iOs) and Family Link (Android) are a good start, but installing parental control filters on devices and WiFi are best.
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Settings
Tech companies monitor our likes and dislikes through every click we make, and use our data to channel our preferences, beliefs and opinions, and market products to us. Changing the default settings helps protect your online privacy.
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Default settings for phones, tablets, computers and gaming consoles can all be reset to protect data security and location.
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Start with your own phone, change your notification settings to stop your phones apps from contacting you for unnecessary reasons. Do you really need to know that you just got a new LinkedIn request?
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Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is prevalent on social media and online games, make it a habit of asking your child about their 'Digital Day' to keep lines of communication open about their online world. If they tell you they are being Cyberbullied, treat it as if it were in person bullying, contact the bullys parent, escalate to a teacher if need be, and be sure to take a screenshot the bullying so you can have a discussion about it.
Congratulate your child on speaking up. Teach your child to be a Cyber Superhero: an Upstander rather than a Bystander.
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An Upstander is someone who speaks up in support of a victim of cyberbullying. A Bystander takes the easier route of avoiding the conflict they are observers too.
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Getting your child to open up to you requires consistently asking them about what is going for them, do it daily, and don’t be specific about the bullying, when they feel more
comfortable, they will open up. Also, institute a new rule that all phones are out of
bedrooms at night, as this is when most cyberbullying occurs.
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Stranger Danger
If you wouldn’t open your front door to strangers and let them play in your child’s room, monitor who they are talking to online.
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Take screenshots of messages, save images or videos and report it immediately to the child protection authority in your jurisdiction!
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Unless you have made sure that your child can only talk with certain users who you have approved are their friends, or you have set up a private chat channel, you have to assume they are open to being contacted by unsupervised adults, which is a risk that is not worth taking.
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deeply thoughtful ideas to help parents with meaningful control over the acess to social media for their children. 
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December 10, 2020 - Be in Touch is an absolute invaluable initiative and resource for parents and their children, and even for grandparents like myself, as we navigate this ever growing digital landscape. The digital connected world has such incredible value, but also many challenges, as not only we are being exposed to very powerful negative agendas over the web, but also the danger of devices being the new addiction. Josh and team, thanks so much for coming form a deep values-based motivation to support us in this way.
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December 17, 2020 - Real, practical guidance that can save us a lot of damage and drama. A stitch in time n all. Thanks Josh!
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December 14, 2020 - Josh and his team bring significant experience, best practice and the latest tech to the digital wellness space. Our learnings through Be In Touch really emphasize the dire need for all parents to step into a space or knowing how to manage your child’s online journey always supporting healthy usage. I highly recommend working with Josh
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December 14, 2020 - Very important for all families with young children, tweens and teens!
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December 10, 2020 - An amazing organization made up of an amazing team! Extremely proud to be associated with BIT!
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December 15, 2020
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Take a coffee break and join us for a free 30 min webinar on Wed 27 at 12 noon.
Everything you need to know about TikTok and how to keep your teen safer and saner online!
Link in bio to register.
#tiktok #besavvy #beintheknow #beanonlineparent #beintouch
Squid Game, the Korean drama-slash-horror series about a battle royale conducted via children’s playground games became an instant sensation when it debuted in September, rocketing to the top of Netflix’s most-viewed releases and generating memes across social media.
The series revolves around a contest in which 456 players, all drawn from different walks of life but each deeply in debt, play a series of children's games with deadly penalties if they lose for the chance to win a $38 million prize.
Each of the six games played by the contestants is based on a classic Korean children's games (think Red Light, Green Light and tug-of-war but with a lot more blood) and the "squid game" is the final one.
According to director, Hwang Dong-Hyuk, he chose to name the show after Squid Game as it was the most physical kids' game of the times and for him, it was "the most symbolic children's game to represent the kind of society we live in today”
We are hearing from teachers that they are seeing students "playing" the violent Squid Game at school. It’s a worry as the Netflix maturity rating for Squid Game is TV-MA, which means it is intended "For Mature Audiences and is not suitable for under 17’s.”
Our recommendations:
👉Chat to your kids about the series that all their friends are talking about
👉Discuss why it is age restricted, and the impact it might have on younger viewers
👉Set up the built-in Netflix parental controls
👉Set up an age-appropriate Netflix profile for each kid in your family
👉Lock each profile and make each PIN different
👉Don't tell your kids your PIN
👉Don't share your Netflix password with your kids
👉Turn off the Autoplay controls to help reduce the time kids spend watching Netflix.
#savethekids #parentalcontrols #beintouch
FLAMING is similar to harassment, but it refers to an online fight exchanged via emails, instant messaging or chat rooms. It is a type of public bullying that often directs harsh languages, or images to a specific person.
#cyberbullying #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #beintouch
DOXING, also known as outing, refers to the act of openly revealing sensitive or personal information about someone without their consent for purposes of embarrassing, humiliating or hurting them. This can range from the spreading of personal photos or documents of public figures to sharing an individual’s saved personal messages in an online private group. The key is the lack of consent from the victim.
#cyberbullying #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #beintouch
So many forms of cyberbullying...
DISSING is when a bully spreads cruel information about their target through public posts or private messages to either ruin their reputation or relationships with other people. In these situations, the bully tends to have a personal relationship with the victim, either as an acquaintance or as a friend.
#cyberbullying #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #beintouch
Cyberbullying takes many different forms!
TROLLING is when a bully tries to intentionally upset others by posting inflammatory comments online with malicious and harmful intent. These bullies tend to be more detached from their victims, and do not have a personal relationship.
#cyberbullying #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #beintouch
The third type of cyberbullying in our Mental Health Awareness series, is Masquerading:
This happens when a bully creates a fake profile or identity online with the sole purpose of cyberbullying someone. It could involve creating a fake email account, fake social media profile, and selecting a new identity and photos to fool the victim. In addition to creating a fake identity, the bully can impersonate someone else to send malicious messages to the victim. In these cases, the bully tends to be someone the victim knows quite well.
#cyberbullying #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #beintouch
We can't, or don't necessarily want to be friends with everybody, but we can choose to be kind.
The next in our series of online bullying is EXCLUSION:
This occurs when someone has been intentionally excluded or singled out from online group activities such as group conversations and multiplayer games. The group might then subsequently leave malicious comments and harass the person they singled out.
#cyberbullying #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #teenmentalhealth #beintouch
October is Mental Health Awareness Month!
Online or Cyber bullying is a big factor in t(w)een mental health. Do you know how many different disguises it comes in?
Let's start with HARASSMENT:
This involves the online bully sending hurtful, offensive, rude, malicious and even threatening messages to an individual or a group, and is often repeated multiple times. It can lead to physical harassment in the real, offline world.
#cyberbullying #teenmentalhealth #beintouch
At your snapping point with Snapchat? 😊
Join us for a free 30 min webinar to find out all you need to know about why your teen loves it, and how to keep them safer and saner!
Wed 13 October @12 noon (SAST)
*follow link in bio to register*
#snapchat #onlineparenting #beintouch
Evidence provided by ex-Facebook whistle-blower, Frances Haugen, has shown the negative impact of Instagram on teen mental health, particularly body-image issues for girls.
Frances has testified to the US Senate that “the company's leadership knows how to make Facebook and Instagram safer, but won't make the necessary changes because they put their astronomical profits before people."
“Let's imagine a different world. In a world where we designed social media such that it's less relying on algorithms to pick what we should focus on, normal social interactions will regulate what we talk about…. If you and I were having a conversation and I kept talking about the same thing over and over again, at some point you're going to walk away from me, right? But algorithms will say, "Ooh, people engage with this topic the most. Let's show it to you more." And that's part of the danger for like teenagers, right? Part of the reason why these teen girls are getting eating disorders is they one time look up weight loss and the algorithm's like, "Oh great. We'll keep showing you more and more extreme weight loss things."
#beintheknow #beconscious #beintouch
And the world discovered yet another "new normal!"
#beinspired #beintouch
This was quite a week for Facebook and Instagram!
Following closely on the leaked report showing that Facebook is aware of the negative impact that Instagram has on teen mental health, particularly girls and body image, comes the welcome news that they are pausing development of “Instagram Kids” to work with parents, experts, policymakers and regulators, to listen to their concerns.
App developers are self-regulated, so set their own age limits on app stores, leaving the burden of regulation on the shoulders of parents.
What do you think?
Should Instagram have an age rating higher than 13?
How do you feel about Instagram for under 13’s?
#beinformed #beconscious #betheparent #beintouch
Keeping up..it's a full time job!
#beconnected #beintouch #beintheknow
Join our 30 minute quick dive into your teen’s Instagram world! Wednesday 29 September at 12 noon (SAST)
*link in bio*
#beintheknow #beaware #bethere #beintouch
Come join us inside your teen’s TikTok life!
Wednesday 22 September at 12 noon (SAST).
*Link in bio to register*
#beatiktokker #beintheknow #beintouch
The reminder we need to hold onto!
#8secondhug #savethekids #collinkartchner
